underdogishere

My employer is supporting the American Cancer Society's Relay For Life campaign, and one of the fundraising events is a competition among fifteen employees to see who can raise the most donations for the cause. The one who raises the most money gets the prize, which is... er...

...he (or she) has to kiss a pig.

Yes, the local organizers have procured the services of a porcine beauty named Wanda Jean, and the candidate who raises the most money is required to give her a big smooch, in front of the entire workforce and recorded on video for posterity and YouTube.

Dear readers, I am proud to say that I am one of the fifteen candidates. And I'm crazy enough to say that I want to kiss the pig.

Why, you ask? Well, there's the glory. That's a draw. More important, though, we recently lost Princess Sunni to cancer, and so I have a special, personal motivation, because research into human cancers carries over to canine oncology. So go me!

Except.... There's one small problem. Of the fifteen candidates vying to kiss the pig, fourteen are managers. Only one is not. Guess who: Me. You can see that this puts me at a huge disadvantage: All fourteen of my competitors have employees who work for them, and these employees are highly motivated to donate so they can force their to boss kiss a pig. I mean, who wouldn't get a lot of satisfaction out of watching their boss kiss a pig? I, on the other hand, am a lowly helot with no subordinates to lord over, so I don't have anyone who reviles me enough to donate.

At least, I don't think I do.

So you can see my dilemma.

Dear readers, I know finances are tight out there, and times are tough, but if you can see it in both your heart and your wallet to donate a few bucks to help me defeat those oily-voiced, shifty-eyed managers and earn the right to kiss the pig, I would be grateful. Again, I know times are tight, so I don't want to pressure anyone. Just if you are able.

If you want to donate $10.00 or more, you can give directly to Relay For Life (link and instructions in a moment), but Relay for Life requires a $10.00 minimum, and so for those of you who can't go that high I've set up a PayPal account at RelayForLife@beaglewriter.com, and you can use PayPal to send me as little as you like. Believe me, no donation is too micro. You'll have to trust me, but I promise that all Paypal donations will be converted to cash and stuffed in my "piggy bank" collection jar at work. Just go to PayPal and "Send Money" to RelayForLife@beaglewriter.com.

On the other hand, if you can spare $10.00 or more, then you can also donate directly through Relay for Life's Web site. Go to this link: http://main.acsevents.org/goto/Smooch. Here you will see a picture of Wanda Jean, and also a list of the fifteen candidates, including me, Greg "The People's Choice" Smith. Click on the "Donate" button. For some reason, you must type my name -- which is "Greg Smith" -- in both the Recognition Name and Personal Note boxes on the donation form -- I don't know why, but it sounds like bad software engineering to me. Remember: Greg Smith.

Thank you! Even if you can't donate, I would appreciate your well wishes. I would appreciate your well wishes even more if I knew about them because you left them in the comments on this post. Thanks again. I'll keep you posted. :)

Labels: Princess Sunni