Wednesday, February 11, 2009


The company that I work for, like so many others, is laying off employees (this is actually our second round of layoffs in as many months, and for those of you who might care, don't worry, I think my job is safe). Anyway, the company is asking for volunteers to be laid off (the compensation isn't bad -- I would consider it myself except that I would lose my health care insurance). The notice asking for volunteers includes this line:

"Management retains sole discretion to determine any employee's essentiality."

Essentiality? Seriously?

Why essentiality? As long as we're making up words, why not essentialness. Or, even better, essentialability (it rolls off your tongue after you practice it a few times).

Or even better:

"Management retains sole discretion to determine how essential an employee is."

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