Thursday, December 04, 2008
Words that a Total Knee Replacement Call to Mind
I had my right knee replaced on Monday. Yesterday I was discharged from the hospital. I guess I expected this to be a rich source of blogging material, but I've come to realize that none of you are going to care about the gory details of a total knee replacement.
There are, though, two words that have been brought to my mind by this experience, that I would not have expected.
The first is tattoo, in the sense of, "I'm not much into tattoos, especially on me, but if I did get a tattoo, I think it would be the word 'Yes' in a circle just above my right knee:"
The other word is kilt. They teach you how you should use the toilet during recovery: Use the walker to back up to the toilet, sit back until you feel the seat with both hands, lower yourself to the seat. When you're done, put both hands on the seat, push up until you're standing inside the walker, take the walker handles.
But they leave a couple of important steps out of this process. One is dropping your pants before sitting down. No big deal. Easy to do. But the other is how to get your pants back up when you're done. Much bigger deal. Once you're standing back up inside the walker, it's almost impossible to reach all the way down and grab your pants. But if you pull them up to your knees while still sitting down, it's very difficult to keep them from sliding back down as you struggle to push yourself up. Then you're back to where you started.
It makes you realize how much more practical the kilt really is.
Labels: Out and About