Saturday, May 27, 2006
If you gotta ask
A couple of things about me:
- I do not like not having anything to do.
love to readam a compulsive reader. I will read anything. The warning labels on circuit breaker panels. The ends of shoe boxes. The small print at the bottom of grocery store cash register receipts. Anything.
So anyway, I had to go to the Post Office to pick up a package. I crept up in line until I was at the counter. The Post Office Dude went off in search of my package. I had nothing to do. So I looked for something to read. I read the menu of services and prices hanging above my head. Not that I haven't read this hundreds of times before: Priority Mail. Delivery Confirmation. Registered Mail. Express Mail.
The Post Office Dude still had not returned. I read the blotter on the counter, that describes those items that may not be mailed. As I had hundreds of times before. Just so you know, it is still forbidden to send explosives through the U.S. Mail.
The Post Office Dude still had not returned. I noticed that someone had left, on the counter, one of those pamphlets that young men are supposed to use to register with the Selective Service.
Have I mentioned that I will read anything?
I picked up the pamphlet. First I turned to the card the young men are supposed to send in, to see what personal information the Selective Service collects. The usual: Name, address, social security number. I thought it was kind of cheeky, though, that they require the young man to provide his own stamp.
The Post Office Dude still had not returned, so I moved on to what we would call the FAQ. Q: Will I be drafted? A: Registering with the Selective Service does not mean you are joining the military. Is that evasive, or what?
The Post Office Dude still had not returned, so I moved on to the section of the pamphlet that outlines who is required to register, and who is not. Some were not surprising: Persons who are incarcerated are not required to register. Though perhaps they should be. But there were some surprises: National Guardsmen and Reservists are required to register with the Selective Service. What's up with that? If there's a national crisis, the Guard and Reserve are going to be mobilized and gone long before we get around to drafting anyone, so why should they have to register? Dunno.
And then, as I was reading and waiting for my package, I came to the thing that's the point of this post (yes, Virginia, this post has a point):
I read that if you are an illegal alien in the United States, you are required to register for the Selective Service.
I am not making this up.
So, all you illegal alien young men, we won't educate your children in our schools, or we'll resent the hell out of it if we do. We won't give you health care if you or your family are sick. We won't provide you with social services, or retirement benefits, even though we'll tax you for them. We won't take care of you if you get hurt while doing the lousy jobs that we make you do for lousy wages. And if we happen to catch you we'll send you packing back to where you came from -- and if a bill pending in Congress gets passed then if we catch you we'll do worse: We'll throw you into prison as a felon. In a word, we'll treat you like subhuman scum. But! You must register with the U.S. Government anyway because if there's a war, instead of deporting you or imprisoning you we are entitled to draft your (probably) brown-skinned butt and send you overseas to get shot at and maybe killed defending the American Way. Even though you're too scummy to enjoy the benefits of that Way during peacetime.
What is wrong with us?