Tuesday, March 28, 2006
The Next Big Thing
A few months ago, I posted here about my Great Idea for a Vegan slasher movie. Unfortunately, it didn't go anywhere -- Hollywood has no imagination -- but now I have a New and Better Idea: The Next Big Thing. This is going to make me rich.
Actually, let me begin by telling you how it came about: A coworker was telling me that her partner had travelled to Tampa to see a Stars on Ice figure skating show. She went on to say that the weekend before her partner had gone to the local Country bar to watch a bullriding competition. My coworker was merely trying to say that her partner had varied tastes, but I wasn't listening -- my mind was already racing ahead... I'd had the New and Better Idea! Those of you who know me (which is one-third of you) can probably guess what it is. For the other two thirds, here's the next big reality TV show -- bigger than American Idol, bigger than Survivor, bigger even than Dancing with the Stars:
Bullriding on Ice! (tm)
Yes, Bullriding on Ice! (tm) To begin with, the bull will be on skates. That will allow him to build up some serious horizontal velocity as he comes out of the chute, which will add to the excitement of the bucking. It will also add to the thrill, since after the bullrider is bucked off he'll face the danger of not only impalement, but also laceration.
The bullrider will have skates, too. Skates will be way better than spurs for annoying the bull, and then after he's bucked off, the bullrider will have to get up and skate away to safety. And if he manages to get in a Lutz or a Double Axel during his escape, he gets extra points. (Do they get points in bullriding? No matter -- they will in Bullriding on Ice! (tm))
The rodeo clowns will have a big role in Bullriding on Ice! (tm), too. They'll skate at top speed around the perimeter of the ice until they're needed, maybe doing a little ice dancing to keep the crowd entertained during the slow moments. And then once the bullrider is bucked off they'll zoom in, rocketing just inches in front of the nose of the still-moving bull, dazzling the crowd with their synchronized routines.
All happening, of course, to the beat of very loud music. Did I mention very loud?
This is such a great idea. It'll be like NASCAR meets NPR. Stayed tuned, dear readers, for the Next Big Thing:
Bullriding on Ice! (tm)