Sunday, February 05, 2006


Four middle-aged (younger than me) men were seated in the booth next to mine. The waitress was taking their drink orders:

Waitress: What would you like to drink?

One guy: Diet Pepsi. No, wait, I'm on vacation! I'll have ice tea.

Like, what does the one have to do with the other? Later, she was taking their food orders:

Waitress: That comes with your choice of baked potato, mashed potatoes, french fries, or rice.

Same guy: Do the mashed potatoes have anything in them, like garlic or anything?

Waitress: No. They have the skins in them, but they don't have anything else.

Guy: I'll have mashed potatoes.

Waitress: Would you like those loaded -- butter, sour cream, cheese, chives, and bacon?

Guy: What did I just order?

Very patient waitress: You ordered mashed potatoes.

Guy: I don't want mashed potatoes. Give me a baked potato, plain, nothing on it.

I know I'm always asking the waitress what I just ordered, but it's because I have multiple personalities, and I can never be sure if the personality who inhabited my body five seconds ago may have ordered the seaweed salad. But I thought I was different that way. I hope in this guy's case that the personality who inhabited his body when his food actually arrived wouldn't have preferred french fries. Loaded.



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